Fashion Police

Submitted by Bruce Buck on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 9:06am.

Let’s say that you have just been named High Sheriff of the Shotgun Fashion Police. As the big man in charge of the SFP, your sworn duty is to protect your brethren and sisteren from the egregious shotgun fashion faux pas so often inflicted on us by some of the sub-lethal drones in Corporate Design. Where would you start? Which purely stylistic gaffes would you single out for public condemnation? Functionality has nothing to do with this. You are only concerned with style, or lack of it. Remember that as High Sheriff you need not fear offending lesser mortals because they are, well, lesser mortals.

Let me vent my spleen with the first couple of swings. Obviously, the easiest target is the original Browning Cynergy. I tried to take one home once, but it was so ugly that my electric garage door refused to open.

What about those autos with garishly colored receivers? The Browning Twelvettes plus recent Winchesters and now Berettas are culpable. Camo is an entirely separate sin.

And then there is painfully wretched engraving, usually on cheap guns but not always. It is probably done in the hope of drawing one’s eyes away from the poor quality of the rest of the gun. Some low-end Turkish guns take the prize here. They would be so much nicer if just left in plain blue.

And then there is that drooping Hapsburg lip of shotgundom, the Schnabel forend . . . .

Now it’s your turn. What will you defend us from, Mr. High Sheriff of the SFP?

Boots off. Helmet on. Beer open.

Fashion police

Submitted by jbute47 on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 10:11pm.

Side plates on box lock guns are disgusting poseurs. High rib "under single" trap guns. Any gun ever made by Ljutic. Boss-Woodward O/U guns with the barrels perched on top of the fore end. Sporting clays guns with 34" barrels. Winchester lever action, Model 1887 shotguns.

Fashion Police

Submitted by Don Nielsen on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 3:38pm.

OK Bruce - per your request..............
I'd start with little plastic glow worms called light pipes on the barrels followed up by ANYTHING "tactical", or made to look, act, function, or breathe that insidious word.  Next would come plastic stocks and forearms (waterfowl only guns excluded), including Beretta's "X-tra" whatever they call it now.  Then there are those robotic-looking skeletonized stocks that look like "Ahnold" should be using them in one of his movies, laminated plywood stocks, and impressed checkering - at least have the machine cut the wood somehow. Add plain-jane hardwood stocks trying to look like walnut.
On the other end of the barrel we have Mueller chokes - have you seen how LONG they stick out? Add in extended chokes on ANY SXS (sorry to my friends who do have them), ported barrels, ported chokes, and "fake" case coloring - either come high or stay at home.
Then are the "wannabee pros - you know who they are, they have the stickers on their barrels with the maker's name on it.  And what is with Beretta and the electronic gizmo counting your rounds, air temp and pressure????  Lastly, ANY type of machine-done engraving on any gun costing over $15K - over that price it should be hand-done.

I would almost add some of the painted stocks - but I will admit, some of the airbrush art work beats most of the lousy engraving

Now, maybe we should move on to those customized carts and accessories.............
 
Thanks for the vent and get that book out soon!