Let’s say that you have just been named High Sheriff of the Shotgun Fashion Police. As the big man in charge of the SFP, your sworn duty is to protect your brethren and sisteren from the egregious shotgun fashion faux pas so often inflicted on us by some of the sub-lethal drones in Corporate Design. Where would you start? Which purely stylistic gaffes would you single out for public condemnation? Functionality has nothing to do with this. You are only concerned with style, or lack of it. Remember that as High Sheriff you need not fear offending lesser mortals because they are, well, lesser mortals.
Let me vent my spleen with the first couple of swings. Obviously, the easiest target is the original Browning Cynergy. I tried to take one home once, but it was so ugly that my electric garage door refused to open.
What about those autos with garishly colored receivers? The Browning Twelvettes plus recent Winchesters and now Berettas are culpable. Camo is an entirely separate sin.
And then there is painfully wretched engraving, usually on cheap guns but not always. It is probably done in the hope of drawing one’s eyes away from the poor quality of the rest of the gun. Some low-end Turkish guns take the prize here. They would be so much nicer if just left in plain blue.
And then there is that drooping Hapsburg lip of shotgundom, the Schnabel forend . . . .
Now it’s your turn. What will you defend us from, Mr. High Sheriff of the SFP?
Boots off. Helmet on. Beer open.